The space between - Kate van Doore

“How can words ever hope to describe the space between a heartbeat and breath?

In the instant that it took for me to survey the situation of these 39 precious children – in that moment between one beat of my heart to the drawing of my next breath into my lungs – I felt the enormity and magnitude of what this project entails. I saw the lives of each of these 39 souls flashing before me. Each one’s potential unravelling in a downward spiral because they lack the basic necessities of life. They don’t have enough to eat; they are getting sent home from school due to unpaid school bills; their home doesn’t provide enough shelter from the elements….the list goes on and on…..

And then, the note tucked into our hands as we are leaving from fourteen year old Julius which states, “I’m scared of collecting water at night (child sacrifice)”. The brackets around “Child sacrifice” are his – the message to my heart is clear:  Do not forsake these children.”

These are the words I began for a blog entry, but never finished, when I first travelled to Uganda in March 2010. The scene at the time was devastating. I sat nursing a child with malaria, feeling the warmth of her small brow and feeling helpless. Feeling like I couldn’t make a difference. Feeling like it was just too big. Just too much. My head screamed, “Quick - run away!!”. But how can you turn your back on children that you loved from the moment you first saw their pictures on a laptop screen? How can you explain the bond that you feel you inhabit just by learning their names? How do you run from the enormity of the task ahead when there are so few to help? And how do you sleep in a house with your own children tucked safely in bed, knowing that those children are not? I guess the answer for me is that I don’t. I can’t. And I won’t.

So, after 16 months, I returned to Uganda. The work in between has been time consuming and sometimes frustrating, but working with partnering NGO’s can be like that.  Much of our time was spent on putting mechanisms in place for accountability and transparency, reconciling every dollar sent, paying the larger bills (like school fees) directly and managing the flow of information. At the beginning, we would quite often receive text messages in the middle of the night saying there was no food left. We would scramble to help – and then attempt to teach more budgeting skills to alleviate the feast or famine mindset.  Things started to go well. The children became healthier. The school fees were paid. The children received new uniforms and shoes. Some of the older children commenced Boarding School – a last shot at providing a great education.  

Jo with little Stephen

We decided in March to send Jo Heath back to Uganda in May 2011 for two to three months to help facilitate re-registration of the home. Jo returned to Uganda via Nepal where she saw firsthand our operations there. She spent hours at the home with our Nepali staff taking note of how the operations function there. After a week, and with the wisdom and mindset of what more could be achieved for our Ugandan children, she set off.



The ensuing audit process has already been outlined in the Important News from Uganda, so I won’t go into depth here. Instead, I’ll concentrate on what happened in the week I was there with Jo. The week that Forget Me Not became a beacon of light standing up for the lives of innocent children against corruption. The week that we seemingly performed the impossible - reunited 11 children with their families and relocated 2 others to a new home. The week that saw us spending countless hours in meetings, in cars, on phones, negotiating, arranging, coordinating, drafting, and finally, as a great reward for the hardest week of our lives, getting to hang out with the kids.

Jo and I with the first children rescued

So...the week that was.....After receiving good advice from the investigative audit, we decided to go to the police and governing Ministry and seek their assistance to close down the organisation and remove the children. On 10th July, I flew to Uganda to facilitate this. What unravelled over the week I was there was quite incredible. We were put in a situation of coordinating a "child rescue" - ie forcibly removing the children from the (now illegal) organisation. Working with the Police, Ministry, local government and another international children's charity, we had to coordinate all of the organisations to perform actions at specific times to ensure the safety of the children. This culminated in the very dramatic rescue of 13 children from the home. The 13 children that were rescued had been trained to mistrust us and those attempting to help - so we had to work very hard to regain their trust. They ranged in age from 4 – 13 years old. In the process, we discovered that alot of the children had families (if not parents), so we then began the process of resettling the children - to great joy from the families and children themselves. With great speed, our Resettlement Team were able to locate and reunify children with their families in as little as two days!

Livingstone and Reagan going home!

It was a very special moment to receive the first phone calls from the children who had been returned to their families with promises of continued support through the Forget Me Not Families Project. We also negotiated a partnership with another existing Children's Home to help facilitate the project while on the ground. With only two of us on the ground in Uganda, the task seemed mammoth - and we were often doing 16 hour days to maintain the speed of the project for the best interests of the children.

I returned home after the week emotionally and physically exhausted. Jo also left a day after me for India. We left confident that we had established a great team on the ground to facilitate the Projects and move forward. We employed a Resettlement and Sponsorship Manager who is now instrumental in our Ugandan operations. She has a history of working for World Vision in a Sponsorship Coordinator role looking after 3000 children, so for her, this task is a little easier! We have been blessed with the expertise of another international charity’s village director, who has been crucial in the Resettlement team, as well as the Wakiso Probation Office and Ministry of Gender, Labour and Social Development.  The Resettlement Team is working to securing and reunifying the next children. Whilst in Uganda, we also formed a new partnership with the very reputable Norwegian funded Toro Childcare Centre. TCCC will be aiding the facilitation of our projects on the ground.



With Mary, Winnie and Simon Peter
peeking from behind

And, at the end of it all, I am left with this:  the rising feeling of accomplishment for Forget Me Not. What was an initial idea discussed over dinner, has now become an international force in children’s rights. The resettlement of 14 children – including 11 being reunified with family – is an extraordinary achievement for any organisation. However, for a small organisation like Forget Me Not to achieve this is incredible. We can only thank all of those who have placed their trust in us – who have provided funding at critical moments – who have attended our functions, bought our raffle tickets, sponsored our children, talked about us. It’s because of the faith of many that Forget Me Not grows and more innocent children are plucked from the precariousness of their former lives and placed in a secure environment.  

So, I returned to Australia and the work continues daily to make these kids safer, happier, healthier and keep returning them to those who love them. From this, I have learnt the biggest lesson. Deciding not to run away - but to stay and fight is the hardest decision to make, yet the most rewarding. This has surely strengthened both my character as a person and also my resolve to see these children given the chance that every child is entitled to – to live their lives as kids.  

Words may never be able to describe that space between a heartbeat and breath, but it is in the action of giving that we find the answer.

I can’t wait to go back to Uganda!